So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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