M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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