My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize