So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He felt like a one man threesome
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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