It's Friday. Sex?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
