it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
