My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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