I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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