It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he thought i was a dude.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
