I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Ketchup is God's man juice
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize