good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
