I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
