awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
