your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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