I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
