One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
