I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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