Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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