FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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