i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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