Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
