found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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