Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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