are you still at the devil's house?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
