I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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