I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
even my farts smell like vagina
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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