watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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