u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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