just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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