Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
