Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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