Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
