dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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