margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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