they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
cat food counts as protein by the way
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
