THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
