The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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