my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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