how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
