I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
