I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
