u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
