Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize