He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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