Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
