dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
