im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
