Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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