Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize