So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
