Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
