Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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