I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
