Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
