remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
