i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize