i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
