i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
