idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize