I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
