the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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