We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
