my mouth tastes like poor choices
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
