"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
